


The Biggest Dick in Oz

by dragontara



Category: Oz (TV)
Genre: Bets & Wagers, Cunning Chris, Dare, Dick measuring contest, Jealous Toby, M/M, Manipulative Chris, Oz Magi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 20:37:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5884372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragontara/pseuds/dragontara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Only in Oz - and only a certain inmate Chris Keller - would even dream about organizing a dick measuring contest...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Biggest Dick in Oz

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vanillalime](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanillalime/gifts).



> Written for Oz Magi 2015.
> 
> Based on the prompt phrase: dick measuring contest.
> 
> Betaed by gusx217.

**THE BIGGEST DICK IN OZ**

 

It all started with an argument as usual.

 

“You are the biggest dick in Oz, Chris!” Toby huffed, slamming the table with his fist and making the chess pieces fly around. “You can’t just make up your own rules every time you’re losing the game!”

 

Chris flashed a lazy smile at Toby, knowing it would rile Toby even more. “Why not? I bet it’s much more interesting this way. Playing it your way only makes it boring!”

 

Toby was fuming. “Like I said, you’re a dick, Keller.”

 

“The _biggest_ dick you said, and that’s true, I am a big man, in every sense of the word,” Chris drawled, grinning smugly. “And coming from you, I’m gonna take it as a compliment, as you’ve been through almost everyone here in Oz.”

 

“Fuck you, Keller!” Toby growled and stormed away.

 

~*~*~

 

After the count, Toby was trying to read his book in the top bunk, completely ignoring Chris who was lounging on his bunk below. Of course being ignored didn’t suit Chris, ever. That much Toby had learned ever since Chris had walked into his life and into his pod in Oz.

 

“Tobe?”

 

Toby didn’t even grunt for an answer.

 

“Tobe?! God damnit, are you listening?” Chris demanded, kicking the top bunk for effect.

 

“What!?!” Toby grumbled, irritated.

 

“I think we should run a contest.”

 

“What contest? What the hell are you on about?”

 

“The dick measuring contest, of course. I know I’m the biggest one here, but I wanna make sure you know it too. And give me the credit. What do you say Tobe?”

 

Toby leaned over the edge of his bunk to glare at Chris. “Are you fucking crazy? No! Absolutely not!”

 

Chris put his best pout to good use and whined, “Tooobe, come on! It’s going to be so much fun!”

 

“No fucking way! Don’t even think about it, you hear?”

 

Toby turned his back to Chris and just ignored him until lights out.

 

~*~*~

 

The next day Chris was busy chatting with different people, a disturbingly _lot_ of people, and Toby didn’t like seeing his face turn more and more pleased as the day went by. Chris definitely had something going on, and Toby was dreading what he was going to find out. 

 

During their shower Chris was eyeing every other dick present with a keen eye, and Toby groaned inwardly. He was so not going to like what Chris was obviously planning.

 

Toby confronted Chris in their pod after dinner, demanding to know what was going on. Chris just grinned smugly, the way that always made Toby grind his teeth in irritation.

 

“Spit it out, Chris. What are you up to? And don’t you dare say you are still planning that fucking contest!” Toby all but growled at his podmate - and soon to be ex-lover, if things were how they were beginning to look like.

 

“Aww, don’t be like that, Tobe. Everyone is excited to participate in the contest, and from what I’ve seen, I’ll have no competition in this particular area. You should be proud of me, babe,” Chris drawled.

 

“Don’t you _babe_ me, you asshole! I don’t want anything to do with any dick measuring contest and if you keep pushing it I won’t have anything to do with you, either!”

 

“How can you say that, Tobe? You know I love you, and I know you love me too. That’s no way to treat the love of your life, is it? You should be supporting me and my brilliant ideas, no matter what!”

 

“That’s just it, this isn’t a brilliant idea, it’s a downright insane one! Just stop it, Chris!”

 

Chris just flashed him a grin and spread out onto his bunk. “But you still love me, right, Tobe?”

 

Toby just huffed and jumped onto his own bunk, sulking.

 

~*~*~

 

Chris continued his games over the next few days, driving Toby nuts with all the furtive glances, whispers behind his back and knowing smirks. Toby was on edge all the time, alternatively sulking or fighting with Chris so fiercely that everyone started to keep their distance. Everyone but Rebadow. The old man listened patiently to Toby’s bitching and complaining, and eventually offered only one piece of advice for the anxious Toby. “You are a lawyer, Tobias. What would you do with a pigheaded client?”

 

Oh yes. If Chris wasn’t taking no for an answer, then Toby had to change his own tactics. 

 

Later that night, in the relatively privacy of their own pod, Toby decided it was time to get some answers. He needed something to work on to stop Chris and his ridiculous plan. 

 

Toby glanced at his podmate. “Chris? Talk to me. Are you seriously going to run the contest?”

 

“Sure am, ain’t giving it up just ‘cause you say so,” Chris grumbled from behind his magazine.

 

“Not going to. I know you too well to even try talking you out of it anymore. I just want to know what to expect.”

 

Chris dropped his magazine and turned to look at Toby. “Expect some fun, Tobe. Lots of dicks around, and knowing the biggest one is just for you. You don’t even have to show yours, just do the honors and announce the winner!” Chris grinned, pleased at himself.

 

Toby snorted. “I’ve had enough dicks around me from the moment I set foot here in Oz, thank you very much. I wouldn’t mind if I didn’t see another dick other than my own for the rest of my life.”

 

Chris pulled on his puppy dog eyes expression and pouted. “Not even mine, Tobe? I’m hurt.”

 

“Well, I might make an exception for yours, but only yours.”

 

Chris grinned and leaned in to give a quick peck on Toby’s lips. “What’d you wanna know?”

 

“I want to know what you’ve planned. When is it? Who’s with you?”

 

“Adebisi, Wangler, Alvarez, Robson, although he’s got no chance after you bit his dick, and O’Reily is gonna…”

 

“O’Reily? He’s going to participate too?” Toby interrupted incredulously.

 

“Nope, O’Reily is helping with the arrangements, but he’s not in the contest. He’s not letting his brother take part either. Ain’t complaining, because from what I’ve seen, Cyril would be the only one to have any chance to challenge me.”

 

“How did you get any of them to agree to this crazy contest in the first place? I fucking can’t believe it.”

 

“Well, you know, called in some favors and shit like that. O’Reily arranged the gym for us on Friday.”

 

“On Friday? That’s the day after tomorrow. How did he manage that? What about the hacks?”

 

“All’s good. We have one of them as the judge and measuring the dicks so there’s no problem with getting some time in the gym.”

 

“Who’s the judge then?” Toby asked suspiciously.

 

Chris smirked. “Howell. Didn’t have much convincing to do. Actually she begged for the job.” 

 

Toby frowned, his stomach clenching uneasily. “Fuck, no way! That bitch gives me creeps. I bet she’s drooling just thinking about getting to play with your dicks. _No. Fucking. Way!_ ”

 

“Jealous, Tobe? Come on, she’s just doing this one job, nothing more.”

 

“You’re calling me jealous? What about your own jealousy? I fucking kissed a guy and you went and killed him! Please, Chris, just call it off. Please!”

 

Chris looked at him, his expression dark. Toby inwardly squirmed under his scrutiny. That look usually didn’t promise anything good for Toby. 

 

“You did much more than kissing, Tobe, and you know it.”

 

Toby sighed. “So you’re not going to cancel the contest?”

 

“Didn’t say that. I could call it off if I wanted to. Right now I don’t want to bad enough.”

 

Toby was relieved. Now they were getting somewhere. Chris always had a price for everything he did or didn’t do. Now it was only a matter of how much it’d cost Toby.

 

“So, what would make you want it enough to call it off, Chris?”

 

Chris grinned lazily. “One or two things come to mind that I’ve asked you to do, but you haven’t agreed to them - yet.”

 

“What have you asked that I haven’t… oh, the lipstick? Oh god, not that.”

 

“Not the lipstick, Tobe. It was just a joke back then. I’m never gonna ask you to use lipstick. You know I like you the way you are. No, it’s the other thing I’ve wanted to try but you always said no.”

 

“Oh fuck. You are really blackmailing me, aren’t you? Making me choose between two evils?”

 

“Not evil. Both could be fun if you just let them. Come on, Tobe, let’s have fun for once!”

 

Toby felt sick. He didn’t like the idea of the cock measuring contest at all, but neither did he like the idea of being tied up when having sex with Chris.

 

“Let me think about it, okay?”

 

“You have till tomorrow.”

 

~*~*~

 

Toby spent most of the night thinking. It shouldn’t have been a difficult choice to make, but still he hesitated. The contest might be fun for someone like Chris, who took pride in his own body, never shy about showing it around and never feeling embarrassed about being naked in front of someone. Just the thought of watching several inmates take their dicks out and stroking them to full hardness made Toby uncomfortable. And on top of that having that bitch Howell leering and greedily pawing them, especially Chris, made Toby feel totally sick. That was not an option for him, that much was certain.

 

The other option wasn’t much better, though. Chris had suggested several times that they’d spice up their sex life by having Toby tied up while Chris fucked him. So far Toby had adamantly refused. He had sworn never to let anyone take the control out of his own hands after Vern. Yes, he had thought about it, quite a lot actually, and if he was honest, the thought of being tied up kind of excited him. But if it ever happened, it had to be with someone he trusted completely, and he wasn’t sure if he trusted Chris that much yet. 

 

He was totally between a rock and a hard place now.

 

Toby tossed and turned through the night, and come morning he was tired and grumpy. His mood didn’t improve one bit as Chris seemed to be in an extremely good mood, strutting around Em City and even flirting with Howell when the bitch walked by. Toby gritted his teeth as he noticed Howell staring hungrily at Chris’s crotch, and Howell’s chuckled _“Can’t wait”_ was the last straw.

 

Toby grabbed Chris by his arm and dragged him to the side of the common room. He slammed Chris against the wall and poked his chest with his finger.

 

“That’s it, Keller. You, me and a piece of rope tonight in our pod, and the contest is cancelled, you hear me? I’ll let you tie my wrists, but nothing else, and that has to be enough for you.”

 

Chris smirked. “If you let me tie only your hands, then I want a compensation.”

 

“Fine! What do you want?”

 

“I want you to announce to all of Oz that I have the biggest dick.”

 

“I’ll agree to saying it in the common room after the contest is cancelled.”

 

“Loudly.”

 

“Deal.”

 

~*~*~

 

That night Toby stood in the shadows of their pod, legs in a wide stance and hands tied to the headboard of their bunk bed, Chris languidly rolling his hips against his ass and his admittedly big dick dragging stuttering moans out of Toby’s mouth with every thrust inside him. Every nerve ending in his body was on fire, sending small electric shocks around his body, and he felt so _alive_. Toby couldn’t believe why he had waited so long to let Chris do this. Giving up control was so… _liberating_. Now he could concentrate fully on his own pleasure, and Chris seemed to know exactly what he needed, to get the best out of the experience.

 

Not just one but several explosive orgasms later, when Toby’s legs refused to hold him up any longer, Chris untied him and pulled him into his own bunk. The narrow bed was absolutely too small for two grown men, but neither of them paid any mind to it. Tightly wrapped in Chris’ arms Toby felt safe and loved, and just before he let sleep claim him, he vaguely wondered why the night shift hacks didn’t come to interrupt their little domestic bliss. Maybe Chris had made some sort of deal with them. Good.

 

~*~*~ 

 

Next morning the wake up call was as brutal as always, but nothing could spoil Toby’s good mood. Maybe he was a bit sore, but that was only a nice reminder of all the pleasure from the previous night. Chris couldn’t keep his hands off of Toby, constantly grabbing him around the waist or squeezing his ass. Finally Toby swatted his hand away to let him get dressed for the day.

 

“Don’t you have a contest to cancel? Go tell your dick mates to measure themselves on their own,” Toby said, chuckling as Chris refused to let him go.

 

“No need. I know my dick is the biggest and the best one around here,” Chris bragged. 

 

“What?” Toby felt his stomach drop as the pieces fell horribly into place. “There wasn’t any contest in the first place, was there? You lied to me for what, to get what you wanted?”

 

Chris averted his eyes, looking slightly uncertain. 

 

“You are a dead man, Keller!” Toby growled and punched him in the guts. Then he slammed the door of their pod open and stormed out. 

 

When he reached the middle of the common room, he yelled, “Keller is the biggest dick in Oz!”

 

Murphy passed him on his way to the control level and gave him a sympathetic look. 

 

“Tell me something new, Beecher.”

 

The End


End file.
